It had to be you...

Got a lot of work done last night but planned on grabbing breakfast before heading to campus for class, so I turned in pretty early. The classical music radio station was playing good sleep music, and thank goodness Perky Girl remembered to put on the sleep timer, because the morning before it was impossible to get out of bed with the soothing sounds of said music. But I woke up at exactly 5:30am with the inevitable urge to pee, so I went.

Little did I know I would be accompanied by a young adult cockroach.

I didn't have any shoes on to exterminate the bugger, so I just scurried myself out the bathroom and leapt back in bed. It was a restless hour and half till the alarms went off.

Perky pressed the snooze button about 5 times. Both of us still awoke quite drowsily.

I admit, it's difficult to get up at 7am every morning. In fact, it's the antithesis of my favorite thing to do, which is sleep/sleep in.

We groaned to each other for a little while about placing a to-go order of breakfast tacos at one of our favorite Tex-Mex local joints, Trudy's, until Monica saw the little friend that made a guest appearance of my early morning loo visit.

That's what really woke us up.

"Oh my God... Oh my God, what is that?" Perky asks, panicked.
"That's a cockroach. It came to see me while I was peeing this morning." I say with an air of nonchalance.
"It---it's on my bed. Ugh, it's on my bed!!"
"I didn't know what to do when I saw it this morning. I didn't have any shoes on!"
"Oh God... GO AWAY YOU NASTY LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!"

--Perky leaps from the pillow side of her bed to the foot--

--I point at her foot, noticing the unpolished toenail she'd been meaning to attend to for the past month--

"I see it!," I say, pointing at the toe.
"WHAT?!?! WHERE?!?!" Perky yelps, cannonballing herself onto the edge of the bed where she began to flail her legs convulsively, as if to repel the pest.

--Here, I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably, knowing that there wasn't a cockroach near her and that she was reacting hysterically--

"No," I said inbetween chuckles, "I just noticed that toenail you'd been complaining about being unpainted."

It had to be you...

On our way to class this morning, Perky Girl and I were walking from the parking garage when we saw a girl who was practically in her workout skivvies -- athletic shorts and sports bra -- walking her dog. Well, I should say her dog was walking her because he was about 2 feet ahead just pulling her arm off. A stranger crossed the dog's path and s/he was pretty determined to sniff because he pulled his owner with such fervor that all she could do was maintain a white-knuckle grip on the leash and passively groan, "Noooooo..."

We couldn't help but laugh.

How could we not? We both know that isn't how one controls a dog. You must be the master, little grasshopper, and if you let him pull without disciplinary action the first time, it definitely won't be the last.



Needless to say, if she had spent more time paying attention to the needs of her dog - being disciplined appropriately and walked often so as not to take advantage of such outings - perhaps she would have been able to enjoy the sweet summer breeze this morning and not have to worry about being dragged down Rio Grande.

Daily tiramisu courtesy of SU

The Flight Attendant

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."



On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on
the ground."



She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one."



To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my
 country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.

Tray-up, Bitch."

It had to be you...

I absolutely love my Italian professor this session. And professors particularly in this area are hard to find. I've been lucky to have had two great ones out of four - funny to note that they're the ones who weren't native-born Italians. Just born-again Italians, well, in Professore's case, one who was raised and lived there till he was 18. He's spunky with a sense of humor that translates across the language barrier. He taps his pencil among the books and pieces of paper scattered atop his desk in a Jimmy Fallon-esque manner when he's thinking about what to tell us next. He bumps into trashcans during grammar lessons and pardons himself to the inanimate object. "Ah, scusi..." Simply put, he's awesome.

Today during lecture, he asked us to turn to our books so we could review new vocabulary. As he flipped the pages to his book, the sweep of his fingers caused the entire book to flip across his desk, and a couple slips of paper flew out.

A magnified playback of this would reveal the humiliating part of the story.

"Oh my God," he said, and as he picked it up, he showed us what he held. "...Free Frosty, anyone??"

Yep, my 50+ year-old professor kept coupons for Wendy's irresistible flash-frozen treats between the pages of an intermediate Italian textbook. Multiple coupons, to note.

Naturally, we all laughed together and Professore transitioned smoothly into the vocabulary review.

Needless to say, I'm glad it wasn't me. Although now I've got a craving for a Frosty.

Daily tiramisu courtesy of SU

**Correction to creator: My native homeland is spelled Philippines. Kthxbai.

It had to be you...

There are several "sucks to be that guy/gal" occurrences that happen around campus, and where better to chronicle these events than here? I figure you guys would enjoy a quick laugh at the expense of others like I do.

Perky Girl and I are always up for catching other people tripping, spilling things, or dropping things when we're out for a giggle, even if it's one of us experiencing the stumble.

Last fall, Perky and I would meet on the lawn to chat for a couple of minutes in between our respective lectures. Here, the lawn on South Mall is a gathering place to do just that, or whatever you want to do - nap, eat lunch, throw around a frisbee, yoga-cise, study, or people-watch/eavesdrop.

The November day was one for the books - sunny with a light, crisp autumn breeze that carried frail leaves along with it. We went about our daily chat, whining about classes and gossiping about last night's episode of whatever reality show we were hooked on that season. The breeze picked up for a quick minute, and a guy who happened to sit a few feet next to us to enjoy his lunch was an instant victim.



We couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably as his shirt remained in its upright position, long after the wind had settled. Perky caught a snapshot of this incident, and the funniest part was that he didn't react at all. He just kept savoring each bite of his meal. His backside stayed exposed, for everyone north of his south side to see, and we went to class thinking about him and laughing to ourselves.

Needless to say, I'm glad it wasn't me.

Daily tiramisu courtesy of PG

"Can I show you something that's sure to make you smile?"
- Perky Girl

Daily tiramisu courtesy of QG

Tiramisu in Italian is translated as "pick-me-up," so I'll collect daily snippets and images for your mid-afternoon mental morsel.
Here's the first of many, enjoy!


"Whenever i'm having a bad day...
i'm going to look at this picture...
it makes me giggle..."
- Quirky Girl